Ari Pratiwi: Use the Term “Toxic” Wisely

After successfully holding Webinar Series #1 some time ago, Universitas Brawijaya through the Student Counseling Service Team again held Webinar Series #2.

This time, the team which is directly supervised by the Center for Academic and Professional Education Development (P3AP) UB Educational Development and Quality Assurance Institute (LP3M) raised the theme “Toxic Relationship: Between Me, You, Friends, and Family”.

This webinar was held online through the zoom meeting media and broadcasted live on UB Counseling YouTube channel and was attended by around 900 participants from various faculties in UB and the general public, Saturday (10/07/2021).

Dr. Dra. Ani Budi Astuti, M.Si as Secretary of LKM P3AP LP3M UB in her speech hopes that this webinar activity can be beneficial for the participants and can apply their knowledge in everyday life.

In this occasion, UB LKM team invited Ari Pratiwi, S.Psi., Psychologist as a counselor for UB LKM as a speaker.

In her presentation, she said that generally, toxic is something that damages or causes a certain reaction. Toxic relationship is a relationship that at a certain level can damage the relationship itself. Toxic relationships are influenced by the frequency and intensity of how often and how severe the toxic is done to another person or a relationship.

Meanwhile, a toxic person is someone who may poison others so that they cannot achieve happiness and live productive lives. There are several groups that can behave toxicly in a relationship, including toxic parents (family), toxic lovers (boyfriends/ girlfriends), toxic friends/frenemies (friends), and toxic people (the people themselves).

According to her, a person can be categorized as a toxic person if everyone validates that the person is indeed toxic. Then, toxic people if the person is toxic personally or only to us. Or toxic people as a response, meaning that if we feel everyone is toxic, we are the real toxic people.

“Therefore, we need to crosscheck. If we feel that everyone is toxic, it could be that we are the real toxic people. Toxic people may actually a response to what we are doing,” she said.

Ari Pratiwi, S. Psi., Psychologist

Also in this webinar, Ari gives tips in dealing with toxic situations. First, take it, accept it as it is and face it. Second, leave it or go / leave the person. Leave it is the hardest decision because you have to get out of your comfort zone. And lastly, change it means changing our perspective, opinion and behavior.

“Remind that there is no easy way. Take it, leave it, or change it, there are always risks that must be taken. But must keep trying. If we do not try, we will continue to be in a toxic situation,” she said.

The UB Psychology lecturer also said that it is too easy for people to label other people as toxic without being aware of themselves. Thus, making them always trapped in a toxic relationship.

“Use the term toxic wisely. Be careful when labeling, look at the case first. Is it true that he is toxic or not. Excessive labeling will make us limit many things and limit our movement. But if we don’t do it, awareness will get us stuck in toxic situations without realizing it. Both are equally dangerous but use them wisely,” he concluded. (Vika/VQ/ Humas UB/ Trans. Iir)